Wednesday, January 25, 2017

The Bandaid Phrase ~ I'm Fine.

Have you ever asked someone how they are? Chances are you will get the Bandaid Phrase in response, aka "Im Fine." Taken at face value it sounds good. We all want to be fine, don't we?

I call "I'm Fine" the band-aid phrase because it covers a multitude of feelings. Deep feelings that we either don't feel like exposing or maybe it isn't the right person to open up to. Or maybe it just isn't the right time.

Look deeper into that person's answers. Ask them "I can see your feelings... Would you like to talk about it?" Or "I would love to talk to you if you have the time, pray with you." This lets them know that they are worthy of someone's time. Maybe they aren't feeling comfortable talking to someone because they don't think there are worthy of that person's time or that they aren't important.

Maybe what they are feeling is fine and everything is going well in their life. But it never hurts to double check if you sense that they are feeling less than fine. Some people are just waiting for the right person to ask.

Right now, if you were to ask me how I am doing, I would respond with I'm fine. But, I'm really struggling.

While I love being a stay at home mom, a lot of times I feel empty. It's like I am "missing out" on certain things. I struggle with feeling of jealousy and find myself scrolling through Facebook and Instagram to see what my friends are doing.

I know, I know. Social media has a way of displaying The Best Of people's lives. I get that. Truly I do. My favorite posts are about real life. Real happenings and sometimes it's just someone went to Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts and picked up a cup of coffee. Real people doing real things are a draw for me.

It seems that everyone has something that they are passionate about. There are people who have actual jobs outside the home, inside the home.... small businesses that they run, a side business. One friend has a "regular" job outside the home along with a side business along with a small business! Friends are selling essential oils, health and nutrition products, clothing, beauty items, or they know someone who is selling and I'm added to their online groups. I rarely get invited to parties because... well, most likely because I have turned down so many invites over the years (honestly not that many regardless) that they don't bother anymore - or I am just a dork and so socially awkward that people don't think I'd be a good fit for their party.

I also have something that I am passionate about. I'd love to be able to share it with everyone and spread the word, so to speak. But right now with Jeremy's health, I need to be at home in case I need to get him.

Quick update - Jeremy has some sort of virus. He has been very run down and all week last week I've had to pick him up early from school. He just does not have it in him to complete a full day. The doctor has ordered 2 rounds of blood tests for mono and CBCs. Everything comes back clear. No mono. It's just a virus of sorts that is causing him to be terrible run down and his lymph nodes to swell like crazy! We honestly had thoughts that it might be some form of cancer or a thyroid condition. Praise the Lord there is no sign or symptoms of either of those! Seriously happy about that and so relieved! We don't know what the virus is though. So .... mama worries. I have to remind myself to trust in God daily. Multiple times a day really. We are attempting to schedule an appointment with an ENT (ear, nose and throat doctor) to have them check to see if they can tell what's going on.

So it's exhausting. Worry is exhausting! I shouldn't do that. I should just do what we are supposed to do and Trust in God. My human mind is faulty and doesn't like to do that so I pray. A lot. I take comfort in the peace that prayers bring, along with the knowledge that there are other people who are praying for us as well. Each is appreciated!!! Thank you very, very much!!

All that said, I am here at home. The house is incredibly quiet while the boys are in school and although the dog is a great companion, Bella is not much of a conversationalist. I spend my days cleaning and doing laundry. I also watch vlogs on YouTube and listen to music on my phone or Pandora on my Roku through the tv. With the need to be nearby to get Jeremy if needed, I am stuck to a very small radius.

This does not keep me from wanting to have something for me. Something that is not a set schedule - like a regular "9-5" type of job. Something that is flexible, that I could do in my home - since I am stuck here, in a way. I don't want to wait until the boys are both teenagers to be able to do something. I have an interest and passion in a set niche that is not as well known in my area. To me that is the perfect time to get going with it!

I may as well just say what it is that I'd love to do since I don't see myself being able to actually do it. I would dearly love to be an independent consultant for Norwex. For those who don't know what that is, Norwex is a company that started in Norway. It is short for the Norway Experience. It is a brand of products for cleaning with - Get this! Products that use only water to clean over 80% of your home. No chemicals. They do have specialty cleaning products that would be totally awesome to have, but honestly you can clean so much of your home without them. Norwex is about products and things that are not going to hurt the environment, they are for sustainability and creating safe havens in the home by removing the chemicals that most people use to clean the home.

Anyway, who else is struggling with feeling of loneliness and a sense of boredom? I get it! I hear you. You are not alone!

God's Blessing to you!